I knew you were that you could be “the one” from our first date when I was 45 minutes late and you were just about as early. You weren’t phased by the time. Over a glass of wine and Italian appetizers, we talked about finances, politics, and religion. I don’t know how we got there or what we said, but what struck me was that no topics were barred. There would always been honesty and a willingness to confront issues head-on.
Our first date: dinner in San Mateo.
Our second date: brunch at brunch spot near Lake Merritt and a walk around the lake.
Our third date: you came to a reading/poetry event I organized.
Our fourth date: we had gluten free cupcakes at the Berkeley Marina, watched kites fly, walked the pier, had lunch at Skates. We didn’t know then that we would eventually move to Berkeley.
Our fifth date was dinner at your house, I think, and watching a silly movie like Sharknado.
After that, I don’t remember. We were together all the time.
When my grandmother was transitioning, you picked me up from my place in Moraga, held me as cried, took me to the airport in the morning, and checked in with me as she transitioned and we honored her life. Only three people sent flowers outside of the family. You were one of them. Before she died, I told her about you; my whole family knew about you from me talking about you in that hospital room.
Within a few months, we were traveling to Hawaii with my mom, looking for houses, getting a house in Berkeley, traveling to Italy together, getting engaged, going to Kenya together, getting married, going on a mini-honeyman when I had shingles, going on our real honeymoon, me starting and then completing my MFA, starting our fertility journey, getting a dog. You changed jobs a few times; I struggled towards tenure and got it. There were many hard times, but they are minute in comparison to the multitude of good times, majestic times. When we got engaged, my mother said, “I knew he was the one. I told your father he was the one.”
You are the one.
You are the one that starts the water for tea and actively works on training the dog. You are the one that cooks dinner most nights and waits until I’m home to eat with me. You are the one who loves serious movies and still watches goofy sci-fi with me. You are the one with whom I share gardening plans, with whom I love to travel. You are the one who went to dance classes with me like lindy hop, salsa, and bachata. You are the one who talks me down when I’m anxious. You are the one who is kind and silly and sarcastic and hilarious all at once. You are the one who reads with me. You are the one who sketches with me on holiday and supports my poetry always. You are the one with whom I share a pocket in the winter so we can hold hands with the “open pocket policy”. You are the one I adore in all ways. You are my heart, my home, my love.
May others know a love like this, the love that I didn’t know I was waiting for until you came.
May the new year bring us more blessings starting with the returning blessing of one another.
#52of52, #52essays2017, #twt,