It’s been about a week, and here’s what I’m thinking on the resolution front.
Resolution 1: Love life with passion and dedication. Be brave and honest. Live with no regrets. Live fiery!
Y’all, passion is hard when you are feeling blue. There’s this genius song that I love by A Great Big World featuring Christina Aguilera, “Say Something.” It’s a song that I heard on my iTunes Radio just as I was giving up on a relationship steeped in “Could have”s and “With just a little effort” and “I know you love me, but”s. It was one of the first relationships, if not the only, in which I was not able to maintain a friendship. My heart couldn’t take what it did to itself in holding on to a friendship; it (I) kept hoping for the dream that was just beyond the reality, one of frustration and miscommunication. Still, I loved him, but I had to love him and me enough to let go. It’s hard to be passionate for life when you are still passionately frustrated in love as I have been for over 6 months now.
Honesty? I have that part of this resolution down. Bravery? I’m getting there.
I’m trying to nurture my fire. Every now and then, there are sparks. Just this weekend, I went to a fantastic class, Canvas and Cabernet, with my dear friend, Sekou. I could be silly. I sang “Living on a Prayer (Bon Jovi) loudly and with gusto. I attacked the canvas with paint, joked, and laughed. For four hours, I was the epitome of this resolution … and then the class ended. I went home, turned off the lights. I was alone with the darkness of my thoughts, and they can get pretty dark. I’m working on nurturing fire, and in that fire, peace. It’s a process. I know it doesn’t happen in one night … or one week.
Resolution 2: Take a class in something new once a month. Cello has stuck. Let’s do capoeira and maybe modern dance or swimming!
Yesterday, I finished my first knitted hat. I read a few articles on knitting in the round, bought some knitting needles, broke out the thick, beige yarn. I knitted a baby hat for my good friends, John and Nguyet. Their second baby will come this February, and if temperatures stay as they are, they are going to need hats a-plenty. Today, I sent off the hat. I’m excited to make more for them and also one for my brother. I promised him one for Christmas. Obviously, it will be late, but it will be filled with love. 🙂
Tonight, I checked out local swimming classes. I did not realize that the local Soda Aquatic Center is open to the local community AND it’s heated! I’m hoping to stop by tomorrow to check it out, get the hours, and make sure it is open to adults. I think a swimming class would be kind of awesome, and the center is just a few minutes drive away. Perhaps I could do two swims a week.
Today, I also expressed interest in on-campus yoga. When it’s being offered on my “day off” (AKA one of my few days without classes or conferences), and classes are only $5 each, I am interested. I think that won’t start until February, which is perfect as I am off to Puerto Rico to write in a little less than two weeks.
Resolution 3: Be the best godmother, friend, sister, aunt, daughter, granddaughter, cousin, etc. that I can be. I think that’s a good one to keep up.
A few days ago I bought my sister and niece a ticket to visit me. I talk to them about once or twice a week. I think I’m doing ok on this.
I’m also trying to invite a friend over for dinner at my house at least once a week.
Resolution 4: Be healthy. Eat out twice a week at most, cook more, (the divine help me) hike, sail/kayak, swim, read more for fun, enjoy massages, etc.
Well, you can’t do everything. 🙂 I discovered Mariposa Bakery this past Sunday. All gluten free!! I could even eat the croutons in my salad! It was some kind of ecstasy. I bought four GF cupcakes, and I have been devouring them. My body does not do well with processing sugar. Today I got on the scale, and it reminded me of this fact. Tomorrow I have to wake up early and go for a longer run.
I am going to check out swimming, yoga, and meditation (every two weeks, starting this week). I also have a massage scheduled for next week, though. I’m on the way, but this, too, is a process.
Resolution 5: Be the best scholar I can be by submitting at least 5 articles this year, writing a new book of poetry, promoting my 2nd book, being an active presenter, working with colleagues, editing The Acentos Review anthology and journal, etc. Develop my craft as a teacher.
I’ve already submitted one article. Lots more to do, but that’s what this time in Puerto Rico is about.
Resolution 6: After August 1 (yes, I’m booked until then, and I know that’s ridiculous), commit to being in this place (as in California) rather than traveling all over the country and world.
I’m having trouble with this. Why did I choose this resolution? 🙂
Resolution 7: Find and cultivate a home. Grow roots.
I DID submit an offer on a house … and it was promptly rejected. Perhaps that is a sign from the cosmos? I’m still searching, though, but in the meantime, I am also trying to ground myself here. I don’t think that I have given the Lamorinda area enough of a chance.
My intention is to do a check-in on these resolutions each month. We will see how it goes.